Really funny how people making fun of immigrants speaking “broken english” only know one fucking language.
i dont get it but i’ll reblog it anyway cause it has 30,000 notes
we have a sub in us history and he said “i have to take attendance, if i mispronounce your name it’s because i dont care”
You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.
OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM.
I did both…
i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now
You kinky son of a bitch.
I used to step on mine until they exploded.
imagine a vampire going “fuck it” and just taking some antihistamines before going to town on a plate of garlic bread
later on it’s wheeled into the ER with like a puffed up face and it just goes “I have been on this earth 10 thousand years but i have not lived until this day”