• jesus: i died on the cross for your sins
  • me: aint nobody tell u to do that tho
  • aresnakesreal:

    this should not be as funny as it is


    cas-get-into-my-ass
    :

    “Leo had slammed his hand on the table countless times and he moved his hand further and he crushed a crystal cordial glass. Blood was dripping down his hand. He never broke character. He kept going. He was in such a zone. It was very intense. He required stitches.”

    WHERE

    IS

    HIS

    OSCAR

    The poor man has literally given them blood.

    jalexaremyhomeboys:

    adamsleray:

    vomiyt:

    this was the most uncomfortable experience in my life

    i need an adult

    call the police

    evilqueenofgallifrey:

    trip-hop-cabaret-dance-punk:

    yourroyalpenis:

    You don’t fuck with Adele

    #that’s why her hair is so big #it’s full of secrets

    isn’t this exactly what Tyrion Lannister did

    "they did it on mythbusters"
    someone who’s about to win an argument (via literatechick)

    janefoster:

    basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”

    pharoahsectotherm:

    sapientpawnkeeper:

    somebody should write an essay comparing and contrasting tina from bob’s burgers and meg from family guy and explain why tina hit the mark for respectfully portraying the awkward teenage years and why meg is a huge fucking insensitive joke that isn’t even funny

    Tina is a character, Meg is a punchline. 

    pokec0re:

    When bae lies to u but u have screenshots

    image

    thedirtyoldgentleman:

yet—another—url:

awwww-cute:

People always tell me my cat has the most beautiful eyes

That cat swallows souls

    thedirtyoldgentleman:

    yet—another—url:

    awwww-cute:

    People always tell me my cat has the most beautiful eyes

    That cat swallows souls

    heliolisk:

    american-fuckin-horror-story:

    i got out of bed at 11:30 to make this

    this deserves 12 oscars and a potato 

    oceanashenue:

    so today my ap art history teacher was teaching us about Hapshetsut the only female pharaoh and he was like “have you seen women they can pop out a baby and be like alright let’s go” and then he walked over to this guy and aimed his fist towards his balls and the guy flinched and held his crotch so he was like “men may be stronger but women are tougher” and then he said “so when someone tells you to grow a pair, they mean ovaries”